Thanksgiving Stuffed

The average adult human's small intestine is over 20 feet long. This past Thanksgiving weekend, I think I was able to fill up all twenty feet of my little friend.

If you happened to take a peek through my most used organ today, you would find:

• sushi buffet – no better way to start my weekend then a $19.99 all-I-can-eat starter. And since this was on a Wednesday night, it only cost $17.99! What a bargain!
• spam filled sushi rolls – tasted much better than anyone would expect. If these were served at an obscure meat buffet, I would no doubt pay $19.99 to feast on these.
• pineapple and cheddar and butter casserole, with a Ritz cracker topping – tasted like you would think tropical fruit and cheese and butter would taste like - but crunchier.
• homemade flan – a flantastic first time creation from wifey. We burned through 3 cups of sugar unsuccessfully trying to make caramel before resorting to Smucker's caramel ice cream topping from the local supermarket.

And Kudos to my big(gest) sister for making her best Thanksgiving dinner yet. (I didn't help cook, but I helped to do the dishes!)

Xbox 5750

Today is November 22nd, 2005, a landmark day in video gaming.

**********: Bids on eBay are over $1,000
********: crazy...
********: who the hell is that desperate?

The few... the desperate... the geeky.

The wait is over for the debut of the Xbox 360. Electronics stores across the nation opened their doors at midnight last night to the thousands of gamers who found some way to round up $500 so that they could stand in line for 12 hours and not worry about doing anything but getting their shiny new Xbox 360 home and playing it for the next 12 hours.

Man, I need a new job.

By 10 AM this morning, pretty much every retailer that was legitimately selling this little white marvel across the US was sold out. Until Black Friday, that is, when they bring the rest of the reserved shipment from the back room. *wink wink nudge nudge* This theoretically intentional shortage should create enough buzz and demand to have those who let marketing get the best of them clamoring for one ASAP, to ensure another day of sell-outs this coming Friday. Those who didn't have the digital cojones to stand out in the rain and cold, being pointed and laughed at by early bird shoppers in the mall parking lots and personalized candle kiosk attendees closing shop for the day, can resort to eBay:

Even if it's not too clear, you can see that this $399 system is selling for somewhere in the four digit range on our favorite (pretty much only) online auction site. And most recently, take a look at this:That's $5,750 for ONE system. Equivalent to a dozen shares in Google. Or a thousand fancy holiday eggnog cappuccinos from Starbucks. Looks like those patient, cold and wet geeks get the last laugh...

Happy Birthday Chicken Nuggets

I was never much of the gourmet chef. In college, my Italian specialty was spaghetti with ketchup squeezed out of packets I took from the cafeteria. My fanciest dish was eggs in a frying pan (which I discovered would puff up if you covered the pan, something I have never seen before, even on Iron Chef) with a sprinkling of hot dog slices. After college, my main staple (and later became my reputation) when I was living on my own were Hot Pockets. As I matured and learned to eat better, I switched to Lean Pockets.

This past Monday, we were plain out of food. Actually, we probably did have food, but it was uncooked and unmicrowaveable, which to me, is basically being out of food. What I did find in the back of my freezer though, was an open box of tasty chicken nuggets:

After laying out the rest of the frostbitten little breaded morsels of chicken on a shiny sheet of aluminum foil, I flipped the box around for cooking directions and noticed the following:

These nuggets are celebrating their two year birthday soon.

Needless to say, with no more food left in the house, I had no choice but to eat them. Drowned in Dijon mustard, they didn't taste older than a year.

Uncle Uncle

This past Saturday, I was given an important task, one I've never performed before: babysit my 15-month old nephew, by myself. No big deal - I'm bigger than him. Never mind that he can only communicate by pointing at things and shaking his head. And he just switched to cloth diapers.

To prep myself, I also accomplished a combination of things the night before that I have also never, ever done: limited my drinking to "no chance of a hangover" status, and cut the night short, being the first one out of the bar at 12:15 AM. I don't think there has ever been a more impressive show of uncle responsibility than this guy.

Come 9 AM Saturday morning, I was given a tour of the baby room, taught how to affix a cloth diaper, and how to dispose of what ends up in the cloth diaper. I learned how to pack a diaper bag, and how to fold and unfold a stroller. I had numbers for his doctor, poison control, and a flowchart for baby CPR. And grandpa, my back up, was on standby in his pajamas and newspaper. I was armed and ready.

After a rousing game of hide and seek, at least one of us was certainly tired out and ready for a nap. I don't think it needs to be said that it was undoubtedly me. The little guy's been up since 6 AM, and it was now 10 AM, and he was due for some sleepy time. Unfortunately, since he can't tell time yet, I don't think he was ready at all to go to sleep. After about twenty minutes of crying (him, not me), I gave up and passed him onto Grandpa. After another ten minutes, his eyes were slowly drooping, and some last-effort wails were sighed out of his drooling mouth. And he was asleep. When Grandpa tried to lay him down in his bed though, he was back awake and wouldn't stop crying until Grandpa gave up too. And now he's awake, and all hopes of a nap for slightly hungover Uncle were now down the toilet with the remains of the last cloth diaper.

The rest of the day was all giggles for him, and me dozing off on his bed, on the park bench, and in the car. As my babysitting shift ended, I, wifey, and the little guy and his parents rode in the Jeep back to their home from dinner. That's when the crying started. Visualize at this moment, this twenty pound bubble of a baby, buckled up in his car seat, giant cheeks and big eyes all wet from drool and tears, bawling and wailing, with his arms outstretched towards you grasping at air, as if you were the only person in the entire world who could save him from the clutch of his child seat. The last time I saw something that sad was this Disney movie.

Sunday morning, my legs are buttocks were sore from all the squatting I did the day before picking up and putting down a squirming, giggling twenty one pound baby - twenty pounds of baby, and a pound of cloth diaper. (If I wasn't so sore, I might have been blogging about my jaunt in the NYC Marathon. Might have.)

No Xbox For Me

Like a Summer breeze, the Xbox 360/Mountain Dew promotion has blown past me and ended. Alas, yours truly is not a winner this time. I was able to muster 52 entries, at a 6:30 AM Sunday morning time slot. I didn't get the final count, but it looked like in excess of 2,000 entries, judging by the number of entries in the later hours of the contest. (Still better than my chances of getting struck by lightning, which is 1 in 3000.)

Thanks for all those who contributed their caps, and I would have had every one of you over for a game if I had won. This past month wasn't a total bust though. I did win:

• A Pre-N router from Digital Life
• Two Cranium Family Fun board games
• A one-liter bottle of Coke

I think I've used up all my luck for the rest of 2005 though. Now I'll have to rely on skill alone to save up for the $400 Xbox in November...