Middle Weight

This Labor Day weekend came as a surprise. I think I didn't realize it was a 3 day weekend until last Wednesday. So I spent much time with the in-laws, the same people who point and laugh at me during most major family functions, asking each other in a language they think I don't understand whether or not I understand them. It was Sunday afternoon that my wife got the news. (I didn't hear of it till Monday.) Wifey says that one of her cousins told her "Your husband got bigger..." (And I thought, "Well, I've been working out and went running three times!") And then she concludes the sentence with "...in the middle!" I believe this was followed up with pointing at my midsection and lots of maniacal laughter, although this is just an assumption since I wasn't actually there.

Now a comment like this, is meant to be a compliment. It means wifey cooks well and I'm fortunate enough to be well-fed, and is an overall sign of prosperity (.i.e. Buddha). Unfortunately, "compliments" like this don't hold over too well in this day and age. (See FUBAR's blog for someone who gets complimented a lot.)

So as I'm getting older and the metabolism is getting slower, I'll make a further attempt at eating healthier and reel in the tummy a bit before my next major family function:
• afternoon banana crumb cake will be replaced with an actual banana or two. (I will miss you, sweet, inch high crumbly crusty...)
• only diet sodas until I win that elusive Xbox 360. Then no more soda at all. (I'm already getting Mountain Dew hangovers.)
• No more buffets, the ultimate stomach-expanding treat.
• Lite beers (I love how "light" food is always spelled ''Lite,'' as if they haven't yet defined ''lite" in the dictionary, but they certainly know it doesn't mean "light.") only. Or low-fat, high alcohol content beverages only, i.e. Scotches and Whiskeys.