Dental Breakdown

I took the day off of work today to do some holiday shopping, run some errands, and visit my dentist for Medieval torture and a free toothbrush.

I don't particularly like my dentist. She's a nice person, and she'll talk about anything... except about my teeth. You would think a dentist with over a decade of experience would know by now that I, her prone patient, would rather hear about what she found in my mouth, and not her trip to Ellis Island. Maybe she thinks I'm the type who likes surprises, and I like to guess why she's drilling into the nerves of my left wisdom tooth when the cavity was supposed to be in my right molar. (And for the record, I like surprises, but not if it involves a drill in my mouth.)

As I was lying under that crane-armed spotlight, listening to the drill and wincing from that and the shop vac sucking out my saliva, blood, and tonsils, I thought about how dental science hasn't advanced much since 1875. If a laser can shatter a gall stone, wouldn't something have been invented by now that can clean better than a drill? Even the sound has become synonymous with pain and fear. How much nicer would the world be if dentist drills played "It's A Small World After All" when turned on?

Now that I've gotten two additional cavities since my last visit, I'm going to make it a point to go about every 4 months. I figure logically, the more often I go, the less I'll have to endure in that chair, and maybe I can avoid the drill altogether. So be sure to visit your dental care provider at least twice a year, boys and girls, and no drill and free samples of Crest should give you something to smile about.

My fillings (I think there are two of them, and I think there are silver, which are just guesses since the dentist didn't bother to tell me) work just fine by the way, as I gave them a test run at the all-you-can-eat buffet, Minado.